The pressures of maintaining both open and closed relationships within the gay community are complex, and counselling and psychotherapy in London for gay men can be a constructive way of addressing these. Whether or not counselling is something you are considering, below are useful pointers to making your choice of relationship work for you.
Talking with your partner
Both open and closed relationships raise complicated issues relating to intimacy, self-esteem, jealousy and insecurity. Having sex with additional partners can be perceived as a threat to an established relationship, and can catalyse any pre-existing relationship problems. Maintaining a monogamous relationship, on the other hand, brings its own pressures within a culture where gay identity is in part defined by sexual conquest.
In either case, it’s important to be able to reassure your partner of the depth of your feelings and commitment, and relationship counselling and psychotherapy for gay men in London can provide a constructive platform for this, along with the opportunity to process the complicated emotions that committing to an open or closed relationship can raise.
Focusing on your partner
It’s important to remind yourself of why you’re with your partner, and to respect their feelings and insecurities, whether they relate to your having sex, or choosing to abstain from sex, with other partners. Your relationship should be a safe space where you can be open and honest and trusting of each other. In order to achieve this it’s vital to learn to talk openly with each other about your feelings, and to be able to provide the support and reassurance required in all relationships. To help you to do this in a confidential, safe environment, you can gain immense support from a London psychotherapy for individuals, couples or groups.
Building and respecting parameters
If you do decide to open up your relationship, it’s important to define boundaries you’re both happy agreeing to. These may relate for example to the number of times your partner can see the same person, the venue, or the information you choose to share. This mutual agreement allows you to maintain the trust, respect and intimacy that are the foundation of any relationship.
Getting support
For more information on open relationship counselling for gay men in London, or to book an appointment, contact me today.
You can call Justin on T: 07717 664177 or justin@justinduwe.com
